Sunday, January 25, 2009

To Love & Learn in New York

"Forget it", I scoffed to myself after hanging up the phone. I was, for the fourth time in a week, steaming mad at D and the rest of his kind. Men, who needs them.

My sister and I pecked at the topic like hens. Why they can be so robotic, while we women are destined to feel every scratch, every tiny bump in the road. They have it easy when it comes to love, all they have to do is grin and bear it. Open doors, pick up the check. The biggest task a man faces in a relationship is letting go of his mother. But's a different story. We've built them up in our minds since the day of our first crush and spent every year after pruning the idea into a perfectly crafted Super-Dude of a fantasy. Who could possibly compare to the man we hold in our heads?

Here I am, 6 days away from the biggest change of my life thus far. In my mind I always thought we'd be in some magical place where everything worked like clock work and the little things didn't bother us. I'd always look at happy couples and assume they've reached that point of perfect bliss, not considering the possibility that maybe, like so many of us, they've just become experts at smiling in public when their really pissed at each other..

The truth of it is, no matter what stupid argument D and I scrape up I still couldn't imagine my life without him. No matter how upset he gets me, I know where he's coming from. No matter the reason or the result, our arguments are only arguments to begin with because we care so deeply. And the best part, is when we make up. When he gives in a bit and I give in, and he cracks a joke and I laugh and he tells me he's glad I'm smiling again. As much as I'd like to say that in almost 4 years D and I argue less now than ever, that simply is not true. I can say, however, that we have finally become excellent maker-uppers.