New York Post Hits Below the (double) Belt

For those of you who don't blog or keep up with mindless celebrity news, Jessica Simpson the singer (?) has gained a bit of weight. This morning, the New York Post, my favorite NY newspaper printed this gnarly little cartoon:

Now, at first of course, one must laugh...because it looks hilarious and way over-blown. But I saw a recent picture of this chick, and honestly....she doesn't even look "fat". Extra poundage...yes, but fat...far from it! Not that millions of 13 year olds read the NY Post Page Six, but the very idea that woman cannot gain OR loose a single pound without being accused of having an eating disorder is totally absurd.

Women gain weight VERY easily. And conversely, some women loose weight just as easily. It's not always a pleasant thing, but it happens. I find it very hard to believe that a woman drew the above cartoon. I'm sure somewhere in New York is the bloke who thought this crap was funny...with his shrunken penis and male pattern balding...chuckling at his own crafty comedic skills.

Sir, you are truly an abomination.

Scooped!!

Just saw this on PerezHilton.com:

Funny....that looks a lot like.... MINE!!!

Thieves!!!

Battle Scars & Broken Nails

Tonight I took a nice long refreshing shower. And before that shower I did something I haven't done in a while. I stared at myself, stark naked in the mirror for a solid 10 minutes. I examined myself thouroughly. The tattoos, the surgery scars, the eyeliner that had found it's way to the creaces in the corners of my eyes. As unflattering as I'm sure W Magazine would find my reflection I thought it was beautiful. I saw a deccisive, funny, intellegent and talented young woman. I saw every inch of my imperfect self and admired the fact that I have someone who loves those inches as much as I do. My kinky hair and my crooked index finger, whose nail I broke packing boxes.

It's a simple matter, liking yourself, but it seems to be the hardest thing for most women to actually do. We are the abstract in a world of realism. Most of us walk around completely convinced that the woman we painted on that morning is exactly who we are. Then, when it all comes off; the weave, the make-up, the wonder bra...we feel inadequate. Well at my young age, I'm hardly an expert at self acceptance or esteem, and I can freely admit there are quite a few things I'd like to improve about myself. But I do know that we are not what we see in the mirror alone. And if we place too much value on looks, then we'll find at the end of the day or the end of our youth that we have nothing about ourselves to be proud of. Looking in the mirror and seeing more than shapes and colors is the mark of a woman who knows the truth in beauty.

Best Quote EVER!

"You've got to keep the fights clean, and the sex dirty!"

-Kevin Bacon on his 20-year long marrige.

To Love & Learn in New York

"Forget it", I scoffed to myself after hanging up the phone. I was, for the fourth time in a week, steaming mad at D and the rest of his kind. Men, who needs them.

My sister and I pecked at the topic like hens. Why they can be so robotic, while we women are destined to feel every scratch, every tiny bump in the road. They have it easy when it comes to love, all they have to do is grin and bear it. Open doors, pick up the check. The biggest task a man faces in a relationship is letting go of his mother. But us...it's a different story. We've built them up in our minds since the day of our first crush and spent every year after pruning the idea into a perfectly crafted Super-Dude of a fantasy. Who could possibly compare to the man we hold in our heads?

Here I am, 6 days away from the biggest change of my life thus far. In my mind I always thought we'd be in some magical place where everything worked like clock work and the little things didn't bother us. I'd always look at happy couples and assume they've reached that point of perfect bliss, not considering the possibility that maybe, like so many of us, they've just become experts at smiling in public when their really pissed at each other..

The truth of it is, no matter what stupid argument D and I scrape up I still couldn't imagine my life without him. No matter how upset he gets me, I know where he's coming from. No matter the reason or the result, our arguments are only arguments to begin with because we care so deeply. And the best part, is when we make up. When he gives in a bit and I give in, and he cracks a joke and I laugh and he tells me he's glad I'm smiling again. As much as I'd like to say that in almost 4 years D and I argue less now than ever, that simply is not true. I can say, however, that we have finally become excellent maker-uppers.

And the Chorus Says: "Ahhhhhhhhhhh!"

It is a whopping 43 degrees in NYC today...

I never thought I'd say this about anything below 60 degrees, but

What WONDERFUL weather we're having today.

LMAO @ Sacramento!!!

Sorry sis, but it's no secret that I despise Sacramento...the black hole of California. And now the New York Post gave me a bit of a chuckle regarding one of Sac's own.

20 year old, Natalie Lenhart of Sacramento obviously forgot that NYC is the land of cash. Cold hard cash money. Stepping into a cab without enough cash to pay is as bad as taping your wallet to the back of your head and walking through Penn Station blind-folded at 2AM. The cabby told little Natalie to fork over her iPod nano as payment for the $50 ride. She handed over a $140 iPod crying after a NYPD officer forced her to do it. And all because she didn't stop at the ATM.

Hilarious.

Kanye West: The Bi-Con

Let's give Mr. West a round of applause for never failing to give us something to laugh about. Way to keep your name in the papers, Slick.

Kanye is once again talking about himself in a recent interview where he dropped this little tidbit:

"I know people will find that as another thing to hate me on, but fuck it. I'm open to doing porn. Hell, I'll even do bisexual scenes - myself, another man and a woman, or just me and two women. I know people will find that as some weird shit, but I am who I am."

First of all, why a porn, Kanye?? A PORN?? That's not exploitative, that's just trashy and desperate. I can understand if he wants to take the Heath Ledger/Jake Gyllenhaal path and go to the extreme for an Oscar award winning part, but a PORN? Where is that going to get you? And who cares if you mess with another guy, every one is well aware that your a closeted bottom, so I doubt anyone would be surprised. I think it's totally disgusting when people (men or women) exploit the gay/lesbian lifestyle simply to gain attention. If your gay, your gay...if your an actor, your an actor. But to just be in a porno with another dude to, what, promote your album???

West wasn't finished there, though, he continued to say:

"I'm an artist. Artist expand; they don't contract. What do I look like staying confined in one space with all my talent? I'm an icon."

Stevie Wonder, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Aretha Franklin, Ray Charles, Jimi Hendrix, Bob Marley.... These are ICONS, people who have shaped entire generations and left their mark on the music world forever....NONE of them sold out for a sit com deal, or walked around spouting off at the mouth about how iconic they are (Miss Franklin not included in that last one...)

Kanye, being an icon is like telling a good joke. If you have to explain it....

Vegetarianism: Day 5

So the upside of being a vegetarian is that my food costs a little less. Today I braved the cold (and I mean C-O-L-D) to walk a block to Chipotle. I ordered the burrito bowl, meatless with veggies, rice, sour cream and guac...YUMMMM. It was totally delish and cost $1.50 cheaper.

I'm starting to get the hang of this.

Best Quote EVER!

"Fire and tight spaces don't appeal. A shark would be interesting,"

-On how he'd prefer to die.

The Cheese & Grits of Love

Most of the time, D and I are what some might consider to be a bit sickening. I'm an affectionate girlfriend and usually I shower him with attention when he's around me. We're always holding hands, leaning on each other, stealing kisses. After going on 4 years of love, I still consider the chemistry to be pretty solid.

Then there are times like today. When as much as I love him, I fantasize about taking a needled bat to his face and tossing his bloody caucus off the side of a building. Times when I want to rip the cable box out of the wall and toss it in the oven. Or literally shove the Nintendo Wii remotes down his throat until he chokes. Times when as big a basketball fan as I am, I would literally like for the entire NBA franchise to go down harder than Wall Street. I could go on...

I guess knowing that D and I have been through MUCH WORSE is a comforting fact. Almost a shaming fact, because I'm really just upset over a classic case of phone-neglect. I suppose when I think about the worst things we've actually put each other through, this hardly takes the cake. Everything about love is temporary, and it's forever evolving into something else, so it's easy to miss the old times. To reminisce over the times when we were still in that "newbie" phase and love still felt like breakfast.

Maybe I'm Crazy...

This morning, as I stepped out of my little apartment in Brooklyn and onto the snow laced sidewalk (wearing my favorite blue tights despite the 19 degree weather), everything seemed just like it was yesterday. My neighbor smoking a cigarette on his porch, the stiff breeze blowing through his beard and Payos. Kids bundled up so much they look like little pillows with hats and boots, waddling next to their parents. The familiar sound of the B46 bus and of course the deceptive sunshine; making me feel like I'm back in California for a brief moment. It wasn't until I got down into the subway station that I noticed the slightest shift.



The Metro Card hustlers, who usually jump all over you to sell you a swipe were surprisingly demure. No one was pushing on the slippery stairs when the 4 train pulled into the station. People weren't quite smiling (I mean come on, this IS Brooklyn) but no one was scowling. The man who sat next to me on the train was kind enough to let me smoosh up against him when a ashy lipped crack head plopped himself in the empty seat beside me after climbing between train cars. In Manhattan, at Starbucks (a luxury I haven't allowed myself in over a month) I was surprised when the familiar girl behind the counter greeted me with an abundantly joyous, "Good Morning!" as if we were old friends. Then just as I was about to ask about my Spinach and Tomato wrap she called out, "Ashley!" and waved my hot breakfast in the air, making me re-trace my steps before figuring out that I hadn't given her my name. I was shocked beyond all belief that she remembered especially since One Penn is a VERY busy building. Between that and the grumpy looking man who stumbled out of his chair to open the door for me as I balanced my grande-soy-caramel-macchiato and spinach wrap in my hands and the guard at the front of the building who flashed a Santa Claus smile and proclaimed, "Gooood Mornin!" I got into the elevator wondering what the HELL happened to New York City!!???



But the elevator television (or "ele-vision" as I've nick named it) flashed a quick news picture of our graceful new President Barack and his lovely First Lady prancing around on the Presidential seal during one of the inaugural balls last night and suddenly I remembered.



With President BAM now safely in office, ANYTHING is possible. Even a very cheerful New York City morning.



(or maybe everyone just really liked my blue tights...)

Rich Men Are Better in Bed....

The link accompanying this school of thought is found here.


Basically this is a "study" that shows women who have wealthy partners are found to have more orgasms than the average woman.

Excuse me while I burst your bubble; Donald, Hef and Steve....

But these are commonly known as "Please-Gasms". Which are orgasms you have while getting off on something that is totally non-sexual. Like, say....a mutual fund...a trip to the Bahamas....a Louis Vuitton Speedy Bag....or first choice at Fashion Week.

It's not at all hard to become totally ecstatic and loose yourself in rapture and emotion if your only goal in life is to suck the assets out of some douche with an ego problem and too much money to keep track of.

Of course this is all in speculation. :)

Oh and PS:

....Miss Lady was FIERCE....

44

Well I've had a lump in my throat for about the last 45 minutes, how bout you?

I watched Obama get sworn in, stumbling over the precious words that were the Presidential Oath. Michelle Obama proudly (as always) beaming at her husband with admiration. The entire crowed silent, standing in the 30 degree temperatures of DC with wide smiles on their faces.

As much as I'd like to insert crude humor here, I'm totally glowing right now. Obama's speech was amazing. And even from the freezing cold, crowded streets of Times Square the emotions were unanimous with awe. I've never heard Time Square so quiet.

People stopped in the middle of the sidewalk to gaze up at one
of the many big screens that hang above Time Square.

Vegetarianism: Day 2

OK, so today I had soup again...

I need some recipes or I might not last....

Obama Inaurguration: On This Amazing Day....

It's Inauguration Day, and this marks the beginning of a truly historical place in USA history.

On this day we wait with baited breath to watch as Barack Obama becomes the 44st president of the United States.

And Don King...

wore this.....

Inaugural Masturbation

I'll be the first to admit, that I am totally dazzled by President-to-be Barack Obama. I think he's a cool ass dude and an excellent example to all of us (side from the smoking addiction). Here we are, at the dawn of a new era about to see the very first black man in history to ever become president of the US. I'm proud to have voted for him and proud to be able to tell my children one day that I was "there".

That being said.

There is WAY to much inaugural shit going on. Everyone is getting in on the action. Theres a billion concerts, parties, tee-shirts, photography exhibits, live broadcasts, and comic books. Obama's old 300 is on sale on ebay...and let me tell you....the Chrysler 300 is a roaring piece of crap...so good luck to whoever buys that thing.

This seems like the story of the chick who spends all her time and effort primping for her wedding day...she spends her life's savings on a dress she'll wear once, she fusses over her flowers and the hue of the seat cushions for the reception....and doesn't realize her fiance is screwing the maid of honor.

I mean, I think Obama will be an awesome president....but I think at some point people will have to un-Jesus-ify him and bring the expectations for his administration back down to earth. What happens when Obama has to make one of those "you can't please everyone" tough decisions..? Will people turn on him because he can't make water into wine?

I'm glad everyone is as excited as I am to have him in office. But once the nostalgia wears off I wonder if people will still be such active supporters..? I sure hope so.

Vegetarianism: Day 1

Ok, so this vegetarian thing isn't so bad. I had soup for lunch and made sure it was made with vegetarian broth. It was delish, and filling, nothing hard about this thus far.

I imagine since I was never really a "Meat Eater" to begin with switching over to the other side won't be as hard for me. D told me yesterday that he feels weird if he doesn't eat meat for a few days. I decided to hold my tongue and not say "that's probably the sensation of feeling healthier..." and instead just agreed. He's been eating meat his whole life, so have I. Although when I was little I was less into it. I liked the skin on fried chicken and bologna. But other than that, I remember my parents had to all but force me to eat meat. Later in life, after getting my first apartment, I noticed my grocery money lasted longer when I left meat out of the equation. So other then happening upon a grossly marked down piece of meat, I really avoided it altogether when I lived alone. When I'm out, eating meat has always been a choice of convenience. Everything that's easy and cheap to eat has meat in it. Hot dog vendors, hamburger spots, pizza places....hard to find like a zucchini on a stick, ya know?

But so far, this whole not eating meat makes me feel better. We'll see how I feel at the end of the week.

Finally Convinced

I happened upon a video today that I've heard about time and time again. I sat through it and by the time it was over, my face and the front of my shirt was wet from tears.

So I'm making a commitment today and hopefully hence forth, to never eat meat again. No cow, no chicken and no pig. I'll only use cage free eggs, and I'll always eat fish (cause I love sushi).

It sounds silly, because it's a dramatic change to make after watching a 12 minute video, so take a look for yourself and see if it doesn't spark a change in you as well:

CLICK HERE TO WATCH: WARNING, THIS VIDEO IS VERY GRAPHIC

On the lighter side....this will be a very interesting little adventure...

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

In case you haven't seen this flick, check it out. It's got some amazing thoughts about life and love, and it's an all around GOOD movie. It also has a nice little dedication to New Orleans and the victims of Katrina. Check it out for free:

Watch "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" Movie

TGI January

Well, it's Friday which marks the end of another work week. Another weekend to look forward to and in 12 days D will be here in New York to take me home.

Time has been passing so quickly. Before I know it, it's 5pm and I'm leaving work and headed home on the train. The train ride is short and quiet. 6pm turns into midnight and my day starts over again. Maybe it's just winter, everything is shorter in winter.


Usually I would hate days rushing by so quickly. Weekends passing in a blur, evenings slipping away from me. But now, with so much to look forward to I'm glad that time is moving so quickly. I know it has something to do with being so balanced on this decision. I am happy to go but sad to leave. I have so much I'm going to be starting in Houston, but I'm leaving a city that I love. New York feels like a summer romance. Also comparable to a pre-season sale. It doesn't last very long, but it has long lasting effects.

My Boyfriend Looks Like Urkle

Ok, seriously though I think Jaleel White is hot. Maybe not with the big glasses and yeast infection pants, but in real life....HAWT. Back when Family Matters was on and Urkle became Urkel...I was swooning. I had a huge crush on him.

Ironically...my boyfriend looks like Jaleel.

Oprah Smoked Crack...? WTF!?

There is a tell -all book being released by Queen Oprah's ex-boyfriend from the 80's called The Wizard of O- My Life With Oprah Winfrey. Supposedly the dick, I mean dude, is dying of cancer and instead of raking in the good karma he's decided to pay his medical bills with blood money.

In his book he's claiming that Oprah smoked crack with him, and taught him how to freebase (which is basically the worst possible way to smoke crack and immediately hooks you). He said that she even went on her show back in the day still high on crack. Yikes!

Well I CAN believe that Oprah was a crack head-I mean come on sister girl had it BAD back when she was a kid and dropped MAJA weight out of the blue AND...MYSTERIOUSLY can't..I mean doesn't have any children. Adds up in my eyes. So now the whole world is going to judge Oprah for having a vice or two before she went all Jesus.

I say lay off. Clinton screws hoes, Obama smokes fags (cigarettes), Shania Twain used to be a porn star and Oprah used to be a crack head. SO WHAT? She's still friggin awesome....

Plane Crashes in Hudson River....

Ok...

WTF....

I'm already majorly scared of flying and now this?

Today a US Airlines flight headed to North Carolina encountered some stray birds and apparently couldn't take the heat. It had to make an emergency landing in the middle of the Hudson River and everyone was evacuated safely. No deaths or serious injuries, I imagine aside from the FREEZING COLD temps today (it snowed, 18 degrees...).

I would be so messed up in the head over that...at least I'd have MILLIONS OF DOLLARS to help me get through it.

They are SO sued.

Read the official Press Release here

The Child Named "Adolf Hitler"

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

This I don't understand. I know the father argues the point that in America you can name your child anything you want (although...hello numb-shit you can pretty much do that anywhere...)but why would a parent ever do anything that didn't give their child the most beneficial start in life? Why would you name your child after a man who created mass genocide, so that people can tease and ridicule them for the rest of their lives? It's been reported that these kids have since been taken from their parents and given to the state for reasons unknown. I'm sure it's not because of the name thing, but perhaps for the quaalude & heroine shake mommy and daddy share for breakfast every morning...?

It's The End of the World

I was raised to never invest too much in the things of the world. Which explains my cynicism towards cable TV and Pop music. Everything is temporary; love, money, even the breath of life is on loan. But today, as I sat on my stalled train and my eyes drifted across the newspapers of my neighbors, I realized that things today are definitely symptomatic of a world on the brink of disruption, to say the least.

With everything going on around us, the wars, the financial upheaval, the pure ignorance; I wonder how we all have the strength to march through it sometimes. I wonder why people don't just walk around naked with sandwich boards tied to their shoulders: "The End Is Near, Take Cover" or "Save the Music, Stop Beyonce".

Or better yet, why don't we do away with it all? Take away our clothes and our bank accounts and all of the gold that brings us status. Just strap bark around our feet, leaves over our mentionables and ride horses instead of overpriced, gas guzzling metal death traps. At least then we'll have some peace of mind before the world crumbles away before our eyes. At least then we can be free of made up nonsense. I say do away with "civilization", because there's nothing civilized about any of this anyway.

I wonder if Thoreau had the right idea to remove himself from the wold. To seclude himself from all the things that held him captive before. I wish the whole world could just down size to the very basic needs; love, food, water and shelter. I wonder if that would be the beginning of something beautiful or if everything would just start all over again.

Tuesdays Can Eat Me

I'm so irritated right now. One of my Sex and the City dvds isn't working anymore. Our kitchen is a mess (and I didn't do it...). It's freezing outside, yet somehow BURNING UP in my room....

UGH....

I hate Tuesdays, they never fail to disappoint me...which I guess means that Tuesdays never let me down.

Fortunately I have the best therapy in mind...packing up to get the fuck away from here.

Ahhh, now I feel better.

For Packing Up It Sure Feels Like Unloading...

So I was getting started on the undesirable task of packing up my shit last night when I paused for a moment to read through one of my old journals. It was the 96-98 journal and I was 11-13 years old. It was the journal written during my parents divorce and my family's demise. A lot went down. Surprisingly, the topic I wrote about most was boys.

Which ones I liked, who had asked me out, who called me, who left notes in my locker. I started to wonder if I was just a healthy young teenager back then or something of a little whore in the making. I decided against the latter. I was a cutie and often the token black girl, so of course I was the flavor. Duh.

Aside from reminiscing about the times when my facebook friends were still my "face-to-face" friends, I started to realize something...

I'm MOVING!!!

WTF.

Can't Spell Fashion Without "Ash"

It's time to start thinking about Spring wear...March is just around the corner and slowly but surely the abbriviated winter days are going to stretch out into long Spring ones. Right now with the move upon me I can't exacltly jump on the new seasons sales going on, but I can mentally prepare for it (this is serious stuff).

^Some people shun this look, but honestly if you do it right

overalls can be hot. I plan on findin me a pair like the above

and rockin the Farmer John goes to Vegas look.

^Jeffery Campbell makes some pretty divine shoesies. At $200 a pop

there are also a little on the pricy side. But you can fine this

look anywhere, if you dare....

^High waisted skirts are nothing new, and I have this one in blue (only I got it at H&M for $30 instead of $60) Fun to wear and versitile.

^Those who know me well, know I have a tendency to like dorky shit often immulated after the stlye of someone's Grandma Ruth. But like I tell my nay-sayer....if you do it right, you can rock whatever you want. Check out the Cosby sweater.

^ Don't even BOTHER going out and buying some. Find the pair that shrunk in the legs, or the pair that only looks good on top...cut them up, rip them up, frey them in the washer and give em a cuff (or not).

Cut offs are hot, especially when its ...hot.

^I already have a few conductor hats, but I haven't sported them since the BIG CHOP. Now that my frow is longer, this style looks pretty damn cute. I would't go for this color, personally, I prefer brighter hues. But that's just me.

Leaving On A Jet Plane

So 18 more days left in New York and here I am again at the brink of a new adventure. My critics and friends have all put in their share of advice. From "why are you leaving"' to "good luck" and "congrats". I even got a "your an idiot" which I thought was a little rude but still hilarious. My answer to it all is, if I can leave California I can definitely leave New York.

For that matter, I can say that I made it. I'm not running away, I didn't fail. I'm not lost or scared. I tackled New York like a trooper and I'm proud of myself. Not many people are strong enough to do what I did. I know some people think I came here out of weakness. All I can say to that is, that the secrets between my mind and my eyes are probably a lot more than most people in my life could ever handle. So I don't mind if they think I left out of weakness. I know the truth. Besides, they say if you can make it here...

I have a lot to look forward to, and a lot to reflect on. I'm more excited about whats ahead of me than anything I'm leaving behind. I figure, as long as that's true in life your headed in the right direction.

My Boyfriend Is Hawt

Things to Buy: 1) Camera

Cause if I had one, I could have taken my own pictures on New Years and that way I wouldn't have to wait till Mon got back from PA to see them..lol. Anyway, my New Years went something like this:

^The drunkness was kicking in close to count down

^D knows I make this face when other men try to touch me....lol

^Bartender and (special treat) my growing FRO.

Sometimes You See Mountains

I won't dare debate D on the topic of New York City. He avoids it like the plauge, while I feel like I've been born here; simple as that. I heard a long time ago that you either love New York or hate it. And I can understand why.

The streets are dirty, even on 5th avenue. The people are pushy and loud. The realities of New York are real and mean sometimes. Everywhere you look your vision is blocked by the towering skyscrapers. You can come to feel like the city is either your prison or your asylum. I spent a lot of days, especially the cold ones, trying to figure out what it is about this city that puts me at ease while for some it winds them up so tightly.

I gave notice to my job today, and let them know I would be moving to Houston with D. Congratulations were in order, and I finally felt good about a conversation that had made me nervous in anticipation.

After work, instead of walking straight to the subway, I took a detour around Penn Plaza. I stopped at the corner of 33rd and 8th and took refuge between the columns in front of the Borders building. The sky wasn't quite black yet; it had that freshly painted blue greyness that follows dusk. So I took it all in for a second. The blistering cold wind rushing into my hood. My fingers freezing up. The dampness on the sidewalk slowly becoming ice. The sidewalk traffic. The bumper to bumper taxis. The Vegas style lights of the stores and restaurants that lined the corner (McDonald's never looked so good). The background of buildings that seemed to lean up against each other, and their mother the Empire State building. The cracks in the city that let the rest of the world in, with a disappearing sunset, and just the slightest hint of a cascading mountain.

I might not miss the dirt or the smell of the last car on the subway, but I know I'll miss the skyline.

Best Quote EVER!

“You’re going to relegate my history to a month? I don’t want a black history month. Black history is American history…I am going to stop calling you a white man and I’m going to ask you to stop calling me a black man.”- Morgan Freeman

Think about it!

Goodbye Love...Handles

Over this past summer, I was proud to be at my ideal weight of 135 pounds (my ideal weight is actually 125-130 but I felt close enough). It had been a while since I was even in the same neighborhood as 130 pounds. I was in a new city and I had dropped two of the most fattening things a girl could ever own...a car and a boyfriend.

Delightfully, I was happy at this new size and I maintained it for quite sometime. Until came the Winter...which promptly brought with it the holidays...which entails dinners, chocolate, cake and other tenderly baked treats.

15 pounds later (or so I imagine, since I never weight myself), I'm about half way back toward the other direction (yes, I dropped about 30 pounds or so this past year...give or take). So It's time to get back on track. Which is why I just gingerly ate a measured cup of cereal, and am now working my way through 15 ounces of grapefruit juice (known to brake down fat cells). Which is also why I skipped the coffee this morning and opted for tea instead (ugh).

In the Winter, trotting 15 blocks or so to get to the museum turns into a $10 cab ride. The funnest thing to do is order in and sleep, and all the best activities are done indoors. Over the summer, aside from not being much interested in other men, even the idea of sex was too much to process. Getting hot and bothered in 105 degree, humid heat was the furthest thing from my mind. I stayed outside from 7 in the morning till 10pm at night on average, and on weekends sometimes I stayed out until the next day. Now, I get home and I'm pretty much wiped out. It's 30 degrees outside with a chance of snow....there IS no outside as far as I'm concerned.

So instead, I will be dieting. Measuring...counting...portioning. UGH. But in 5 months (my goal), I'll be back down to a size 6, and sporting my $200 bikini (my reward for loosing it all) on a beach somewhere in Mexico with my favorite guy.

But for now....today....TODAY I'm fucking hungry.