This is it, Joel. It's going to be gone soon

I was talking to Valentine the other night about love addiction. He said Dr. Phil was on Oprah explaining how some people are making up for a void in their hearts by constantly seeking or needing a mate. They always crave approval and attention, they always need to know that someone loves them and is committed to them.

He questioned his motives for a split second. I could feel him analyze himself. "Naw, baby." I said, "That's not you or me."

I want to find this person who invented the concept of "love addiction" and smack the daylights out of them. How could they sully love's pond like that? How could they over define the undefinable image of love, and pigeon hole it into some healthy quotation? Humans are messy and unkind, and afraid and undone. We're not supposed to fit our emotions and impulses into a clearly labeled box from The Container Store.

So what if I've had a lot of boyfriends? I like men. I'm a pretty girl, and I consider myself to be fairly interesting to-boot. So I tend to have a lot of options because of that. I sample those options and occasionally sit down to a meal hoping it might fill me (forever). Valentine is the same way (only the male version).

"So what", I told him over the phone yesterday, "we love hard. "

One day we'll all look up from our perfectly balanced meals and see a woman running through a flowery field on the TV screen. Her arms stretched out, and face to the sky as a long flowing dress catches in the wind like angel wings. The announcer explains in a buttery monotone voice that you too can be free of your clinical love addiction with one simple oral dose of Ileeva per day. No more pesky emotional attachments, no more loneliness. Just pure and simple well-adjusted, well-balanced, relationships that always make sense. And if they don't one day. If your confused or scared or desperate or hurt or disillusioned...just pop a pill and that deep seeded need for love with softly disappear.

Side effects may include: nausea, heartburn, empty-headedness, social failure, claustrophobia, sexual frustration, loss of perspective, dry mouth, and trouble conceiving.

(©2009 Lotus B.)

John & Kate Plus 8...PLEASE STOP THE MADNESS

OK, so I'm not a TV person at all, really. I find it pretty silly to sit down and watch the latest TV obsessions which are ONLY designed so that you can sit through 10 to 20 minutes of advertising. If the show is that hot, I'll catch it on DVD...

But for the last few months, the magazines I grab for while waiting in line at the grocery store or waiting for a flight have been focused on John and Kate and their divorce.

Question....who the fuck are these people???

Another question....who does this woman's hair, it looks like she's wearing a blond tarantula..

Third question....WHO THE FUCK ARE THESE PEOPLE???


It's annoying enough when has-been actors and singers get a reality show. Although, at least then you can see how the other half lives. But when some dorky ass interracial couple who over did it on the fertility drugs invades magazine headlines and news because they are (gasp) getting a divorce??!! Now I'm just ashamed to be American.

But today takes the cake. I wanted to check out some of the pictures from the tributes done for Michael Jackson at the BET awards. A show I never tune in for, but don't mind checking out the...uhhh...fashion(?) and today seeing how the black folks honored King MJ over the weekend. However, I couldn't help but notice before I clicked on the hilarious picture of Beyonce dressed as a bride that in the corner underneath the latest Jackson news was this headline "INSIDE STORY: Gosselin Divorce Papers Explained"...

The strangest thing I find about this John & Kate headline (if you can even see it) is the caption underneath it: "WHAT DO YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE COUPLES DIVORCE FILINGS- AND WHAT TO IGNORE".

You can't make this stuff up.

Not that I'm taking the side of anyone who exploits their lives and the lives of their kids for "fame" and fortune, but seriously....WHY do people need to know ANYTHING about someone else divorce? How does this impact the lives of anyone outside of their family? What moron is actually clicking on this link and reading up on the bullet points relating to these two people's personal lives?? If you are in any way invested emotionally in the lives of John & Kate...go get a knife and end it, cause you have nothing else to live for.

Seriously...END IT.

The Child Named "Adolf Hitler"

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This I don't understand. I know the father argues the point that in America you can name your child anything you want (although...hello numb-shit you can pretty much do that anywhere...)but why would a parent ever do anything that didn't give their child the most beneficial start in life? Why would you name your child after a man who created mass genocide, so that people can tease and ridicule them for the rest of their lives? It's been reported that these kids have since been taken from their parents and given to the state for reasons unknown. I'm sure it's not because of the name thing, but perhaps for the quaalude & heroine shake mommy and daddy share for breakfast every morning...?

It's The End of the World

I was raised to never invest too much in the things of the world. Which explains my cynicism towards cable TV and Pop music. Everything is temporary; love, money, even the breath of life is on loan. But today, as I sat on my stalled train and my eyes drifted across the newspapers of my neighbors, I realized that things today are definitely symptomatic of a world on the brink of disruption, to say the least.

With everything going on around us, the wars, the financial upheaval, the pure ignorance; I wonder how we all have the strength to march through it sometimes. I wonder why people don't just walk around naked with sandwich boards tied to their shoulders: "The End Is Near, Take Cover" or "Save the Music, Stop Beyonce".

Or better yet, why don't we do away with it all? Take away our clothes and our bank accounts and all of the gold that brings us status. Just strap bark around our feet, leaves over our mentionables and ride horses instead of overpriced, gas guzzling metal death traps. At least then we'll have some peace of mind before the world crumbles away before our eyes. At least then we can be free of made up nonsense. I say do away with "civilization", because there's nothing civilized about any of this anyway.

I wonder if Thoreau had the right idea to remove himself from the wold. To seclude himself from all the things that held him captive before. I wish the whole world could just down size to the very basic needs; love, food, water and shelter. I wonder if that would be the beginning of something beautiful or if everything would just start all over again.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

NBC canceled Lipstick Jungle...the show I first scoffed at then became addicted

to via Hulu (http://www.hulu.com/) and found to love and adore.

I'm so sad.