The Aliens Have Landed

The usually ferosh and fashion forward, Madonna was channelling some outside forces last night at the Met Gala....Women's Wear Daily was Twittering away about the goings on, so I had to check out the pics for myself this morning. All hail to Louis Vuitton, but seriously....as D would put it... she looks like she wore all her Christmas gifts on the same day...

The Rihanna and Chris Beat Down...

TMZ posted the above flick of Rihanna's face post beat down, which aside from distasteful (I know that's hypocritical) it's also VERY shocking. I mean DAYUM...Chris put a hurting on little Miss RiRi.

I thought this was a pretty hot couple, but every couple has their little demons. I think it's pretty fucked up that Chris Brown, someone who has so much success and fortune and obviously a woman on his arm who loves him decides to act so cruelly.

I hope she finds strength enough to press charges to the very fullest, and that he gets locked up and surrounded by a bunch of real men who beat his ass so he knows what it feels like to have his ass beat by someone bigger than him.

I never was a Chris Brown fan or anything, but this should put a pretty big damper on his career, which I think he so fully deserves.

New York Post Hits Below the (double) Belt

For those of you who don't blog or keep up with mindless celebrity news, Jessica Simpson the singer (?) has gained a bit of weight. This morning, the New York Post, my favorite NY newspaper printed this gnarly little cartoon:

Now, at first of course, one must laugh...because it looks hilarious and way over-blown. But I saw a recent picture of this chick, and honestly....she doesn't even look "fat". Extra poundage...yes, but fat...far from it! Not that millions of 13 year olds read the NY Post Page Six, but the very idea that woman cannot gain OR loose a single pound without being accused of having an eating disorder is totally absurd.

Women gain weight VERY easily. And conversely, some women loose weight just as easily. It's not always a pleasant thing, but it happens. I find it very hard to believe that a woman drew the above cartoon. I'm sure somewhere in New York is the bloke who thought this crap was funny...with his shrunken penis and male pattern balding...chuckling at his own crafty comedic skills.

Sir, you are truly an abomination.

Scooped!!

Just saw this on PerezHilton.com:

Funny....that looks a lot like.... MINE!!!

Thieves!!!

Best Quote EVER!

"You've got to keep the fights clean, and the sex dirty!"

-Kevin Bacon on his 20-year long marrige.

Kanye West: The Bi-Con

Let's give Mr. West a round of applause for never failing to give us something to laugh about. Way to keep your name in the papers, Slick.

Kanye is once again talking about himself in a recent interview where he dropped this little tidbit:

"I know people will find that as another thing to hate me on, but fuck it. I'm open to doing porn. Hell, I'll even do bisexual scenes - myself, another man and a woman, or just me and two women. I know people will find that as some weird shit, but I am who I am."

First of all, why a porn, Kanye?? A PORN?? That's not exploitative, that's just trashy and desperate. I can understand if he wants to take the Heath Ledger/Jake Gyllenhaal path and go to the extreme for an Oscar award winning part, but a PORN? Where is that going to get you? And who cares if you mess with another guy, every one is well aware that your a closeted bottom, so I doubt anyone would be surprised. I think it's totally disgusting when people (men or women) exploit the gay/lesbian lifestyle simply to gain attention. If your gay, your gay...if your an actor, your an actor. But to just be in a porno with another dude to, what, promote your album???

West wasn't finished there, though, he continued to say:

"I'm an artist. Artist expand; they don't contract. What do I look like staying confined in one space with all my talent? I'm an icon."

Stevie Wonder, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Aretha Franklin, Ray Charles, Jimi Hendrix, Bob Marley.... These are ICONS, people who have shaped entire generations and left their mark on the music world forever....NONE of them sold out for a sit com deal, or walked around spouting off at the mouth about how iconic they are (Miss Franklin not included in that last one...)

Kanye, being an icon is like telling a good joke. If you have to explain it....

Best Quote EVER!

"Fire and tight spaces don't appeal. A shark would be interesting,"

-On how he'd prefer to die.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

In case you haven't seen this flick, check it out. It's got some amazing thoughts about life and love, and it's an all around GOOD movie. It also has a nice little dedication to New Orleans and the victims of Katrina. Check it out for free:

Watch "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" Movie

My Boyfriend Looks Like Urkle

Ok, seriously though I think Jaleel White is hot. Maybe not with the big glasses and yeast infection pants, but in real life....HAWT. Back when Family Matters was on and Urkle became Urkel...I was swooning. I had a huge crush on him.

Ironically...my boyfriend looks like Jaleel.

Oprah Smoked Crack...? WTF!?

There is a tell -all book being released by Queen Oprah's ex-boyfriend from the 80's called The Wizard of O- My Life With Oprah Winfrey. Supposedly the dick, I mean dude, is dying of cancer and instead of raking in the good karma he's decided to pay his medical bills with blood money.

In his book he's claiming that Oprah smoked crack with him, and taught him how to freebase (which is basically the worst possible way to smoke crack and immediately hooks you). He said that she even went on her show back in the day still high on crack. Yikes!

Well I CAN believe that Oprah was a crack head-I mean come on sister girl had it BAD back when she was a kid and dropped MAJA weight out of the blue AND...MYSTERIOUSLY can't..I mean doesn't have any children. Adds up in my eyes. So now the whole world is going to judge Oprah for having a vice or two before she went all Jesus.

I say lay off. Clinton screws hoes, Obama smokes fags (cigarettes), Shania Twain used to be a porn star and Oprah used to be a crack head. SO WHAT? She's still friggin awesome....

Best Quote EVER!

“You’re going to relegate my history to a month? I don’t want a black history month. Black history is American history…I am going to stop calling you a white man and I’m going to ask you to stop calling me a black man.”- Morgan Freeman

Think about it!

No Longer A Fan of Lipstick

I was practically in tears when I found out that NBC was going to cancel one of my favorite guilty pleasures...Lipstick Jungle. Another creation of Sex and the City's Candace Bushnell was seemingly similar until I took a closer look one bored Sunday afternoon. I watched the entire first season on Hulu and then waited in anticipation as the second finally began. No sooner was I sunken into it's story line and complicated yet stylish drama when I heard the tragic news....

Well, it's been a while since I took in an episode, the holidays had me running ragged. Finally I took a second to watch episode 12, which is supposed to bring closure to a lot of hanging issues. Will Joe and Victory get married? Is there something between Niko and Griffin? And will Wendy and her husband break up over Shayne's scattered rock star dreams...??
WILL THEY??!!

WHO CARES!!! I was too focused on Brooke Shields GOD AWFUL Botox.... eeeshh!
Why do women do this to themselves?

PS: The worst news is, it's actually NOT canceled...just when I've decided to boycott.

HOTTIE Alert!!!

And no, I'm not talking about Keanu Reeves bushy ass. He looks like he has a vagina on his face.

I'm talking about Jayden Smith (Will and Jada's son) !! I know he's like 4 and a half, but baby boy is going to be ONE HOT ticket in about 10 more years!!

Mark my words!

I Must Be the Last Person on the Planet Who Didn't Know....

...That Ne-Yo's fine ass is BALDING...??

I also didn't know he was arrested earlier this year for drunk driving. I'm not really one to keep up with cookie cutter R&B singers who serve no purpose outside of assisting in the consumation of pregnancies across the world....

Hey Ne-Yo...your still a cutie..but lets keep the hats on.

OJ Simpson Sentencing Today

I still can't believe his lawyer went with the , "he didn't know it was illegal..." to break into someones establishment with guns and take them hostage approach.

I've never seen a celeb end up doing actual time for their crimes, so I'm sure he'll get 6 years in some cushy, minimum security penthouse and get out in a few years for good behavior.

Whatev...

Butta Face

I know there are hoards of people who are absolute and total fans of

Micheal "The Fish" Phelps.

And I agree that....well...swimming does his body good.

But...seriously...the face???...

...Thats what I call; undeniable FUG.

Kanye West....WTF?!

Not to take anything away from Mr. West here... I mean he IS an amazing artist. His energy is high, releasing an album every year since 2004 and producing countless singles and albums for other artists since 2001; and his music is far from ordinary. He takes hip hop to another level and much like Jay-Z, Pharrell Williams (of N.E.R.D.) and Mos Def (my personal fave) he has raised the bar for urban music to a level that few can reach. Having said THAT....

...WTF, Kanye??

After his win at the MTV EMA's (European Music Awards) this past week , West was quoted saying, "I won nothing last year and I'd brought out Stronger. Then this year, just because I was there, I won best urban act. This was Lil Wayne's year." But the gush of appreciation didn't end there...he went on to say, "Britney Spears over Rihanna? Are you serious? I mean fucking Jared Leto? He's my boy but he shouldn't have won over some of those other artists."

Well, I'll admit that Jared Leto might be far from America's favorite list of artists and I'm DEFINITELY not a fan of the whole "blood bath" scenario at 30 Seconds to Mars' concerts; but they're concepts are one of a kind, the music is sincere and their videos are something to take note of, not to mention it's EUROPEAN music awards, and their taste is usually far different that that of the US. As far as Britney over Rihanna is concerned...I can't argue, that was an entirely unfounded choice and obviously a corporate decision given her embarrassingly wobbly (and by wobbly I mean the 'fat-jiggle') performance she gave at the VMA's last year. Kanye should be thankful he got an award and graciously accept. Shut up, count your millions and stop complaining about all the love your getting that you probably deserved last year; better late than never.

BUT....it doesn't stop there, folks.

West was also quoted as saying, ‘‘I realize that my place and position in history is that I will go down as the voice of this generation, of this decade, I will be the loudest voice... It’s me settling into that position of just really accepting that it’s one thing to say you want to do it and it’s another thing to really end up being like Michael Jordan.’’

So how does Kanye get this honor of being dubbed "the voice of this generation"? A Michael Jordan reference? Was their a 1/8 of a lifetime achievement award he received that I've somehow missed?? He undoubtedly is a large influence in hip hop music today, but lets not forget that the world does not revolve around hip hop music. He's not an actor, a painter, an activist, a diplomat or anything much more than an, albeit amazing, producer and lyricist. Although his music touches people of all preferences, it's still soundly considered Urban Hip Hop. Being "the voice" of a generation, at least in my humble opinion requires more than just that. I mean, he's really dumbing down the potential of this generation by naming himself the King.

With all of the musical influences of the past decade, Kanye has definitely ruled the commercial music scene for the last 4 years, but his place is hardly in same halls of The Beatles, Jimi Hendrix, Prince, Marvin Gaye, Bob Marley or Elvis Presley (pick your era)... I think he's still got some proving to do. And if he thinks his job is done after 4 or 5 short years of being a household name, his light will end up burning out quicker than he can imagine.

Sorry Kanye, but as far as being the voice of my generation....

you gotta speak up a little louder to speak for me.

"Some" People Are Just Plain Ig'Nint

I won't say what kind of people exactly...but every black person in the world knows this is not a "perm" on Halle Berry. That woman got NEGRO hair, she didn't PROCESS her shit...

SHE WET IT.

*Ignorance courtesy of TMZ.com

"He's So Crazy" & Other Poisonous Ideas About Men

In light of the recent shocking events surrounding Jennifer Hudson's tragic loss of her mother, brother and possibly her nephew (police have found a body that might be the 7-year old boy), I started thinking about relationships. All of the Hudson family drama seems to have stemed from the tumultuous relationship between Jennifer's sister Julia and her husband. Julia's myspace page (I've done my research, y'all) even has a picture of a car he supposedly sold against her will, her caption referring to how her brother (now deceased) had to pick her up from work because "bitch ass William sold my car". I know there is nothing comical about this situation, but it's funny how women never seem to see these kinds of men as an issue until it's too late. The stupid little controlling things he does are ok, but rarely do these women stop to think about how far his crazy antics might go, or who they might effect one day.

I've met women like this before, hell, I used to be one. Referring to their boyfriends as "crazy" as if the things he does authenticates his love for them. He must really love you to go out of his way to make sure you can't leave the house when he wants you to stay. He must REALLY love you to check up on you every 15 minutes of the day. And GIRL he must be SO IN LOVE with you because when you get mad and break up with him he goes bizirk until you take him back. This kind of behavior is not attractive to the typical woman, but it's attractive to some. An attraction that can lead to things like the Hudson double-homicide (possibly triple). Women make excuses for the men they date; women who don't pay closer attention to the warning signs. They like the attention, they like a man who makes a fool of himself for her. In my head, making a fool of yourself, entails sending a ridiculous display of roses to your job or asking you to dance to elevator music. NOT disrupting your life with a series of hissy fits. I never thought my ex, Louis' behavior would effect any one's life but mine until he showed up to my house with a metal baseball bat and threatened to kill a male friend who was at my house. Not only did he threaten, he tried and fortunately failed. That could have easily been a family member, or myself. That could have VERY easily have been a murder, or a double murder. I think about that night every time I hear some woman talk about how "crazy" her boyfriend is and how she stays anyway because, "that's just the way he is." Thinking a tragic escalation of violence can't happen to you just because you sleep in the same bed as this man is a very ignorant mistake to make. ANY man who doesn't respect you as a women, an individual and have enough sense to make your life NOTHING but better is a man who is missing a few screws and can very easily snap over to the other side.

I don't find stories like this amusing, and I don't find men like that to be innocent. Dating a scruffy guy who prefers to keep it "street" is fine, but dating an outright maniac just because he puts it down in the bedroom is foolish. Think about your life and the lives around you and ask yourself if you want to be responsible for your "crazy" man turning his anger on the people you love.

Helpful Resources:

National Domestic Abuse Hotline

Domestic Abuse Help

Prayers R With J-Hud

I'm not really a fan of hers, but I can't imagine what it must feel like to loose your mother and brother in one day, and find your nephew missing. My prayers are with Jennifer Hudson and her family, especially the little boy's mother. To read the full story CLICK HERE

UPDATE: The suspect, William Balfour, J-Hud's sister's husband and or baby's father, was arrested late last night and is now in police custody. The whereabouts of 7-year old Julian King are still unknown.

Every so often there is tragedy that strikes Hollywood and it reminds us that these things can happen to anyone. This kind of shit makes me want to check up on literally everyone I know and make sure their livin' alright.