10 Things That "Urk" Me...

1. Americans who use the phrase "cheers". This doesn't make you sound more worldly...it's just annoying.
2. Fat people who take up two seats on the subway.
3. Overpriced Manhattan food...even McDonald's is more expensive here. Ugh....
4. Kids with no home-training.
5. People who think it's ok to feed their kids ANYTHING.
6. Celebrities who complain about being popular.
7. People who just stand in silence instead of saying, "Excuse me..." (New Yorkers don't do this...)
8. Tourists who ask where a good place to eat in the city is...(wtf?? There are a zillion restaurants, who am I Zagats?)
9. Women who buy fake designer bags...Your not fooling anyone but yourself.
10. Women who don't take the time to do their hair or make-up, but spend $40 on fiberglass nail art.

Ugh...Subway...Ugh...Monday

This morning I left brisk fully in time to catch the early train. I stepped on and found a seat quickly. I pulled out my borrowed copy of 'Promenade of the Gods' by Koji Suzuki (author of 'Ring') and settled back into it's mysterious story plot. I didn't expect much disturbance (aside from whats typical in my commute; crowded train, occasionally giving up a seat for the elderly lady or pregnant woman..) when at the VERY next stop a rather large woman- scratch that...a rather SHREK -like, Ogre-esque, Man-woman- got onto the train and decided to set her sights on the seat that was as yet unoccupied between myself and another girl. Since this was the 3 train, which has bucket seats and not a smooth bench like the 4, terror caught my eyes as almost as if in slow motion I watched the lady shift her purse to the front and sit down forcing me to slide over onto the ridge between the two seats next to me. "Ashley, why didn't you just move to the next seat over?" I'm sure your asking this most obvious question. Well, see occupied in the next seat over was HALF THE ASS of another larger than life individual, a man about my age who probably stood about 6'4" and well over 350lbs. I was left with two halves of two chairs and the ridge between them gently sodomizing my ass crack with every bump and turn of the train (not to mention I had on tights so I was sliding around like a hockey puck.

With all of the warning and caution signs MTA puts up for it's passengers...all of the "DO NOT LEAN ON DOOR" signs and "NO FOOD OR DRINKS ALLOWED" signs...WHY on earth don't they have a "IF YOU CAN'T FIT, PLEASE DON'T SIT" sign visible? Of course I'm not discriminating against those who eat 30 meals a day, that's totally their business. However when it forces me to be molested by the subway train seat through 15 stops for 45 minutes, well then it becomes MY problem.

I am griping because of this, and because it's Monday and because I'm tired and crampy and because this is precisely what a blog is for.

Happy fucking Monday.