Monday, October 27, 2008

"He's So Crazy" & Other Poisonous Ideas About Men

In light of the recent shocking events surrounding Jennifer Hudson's tragic loss of her mother, brother and possibly her nephew (police have found a body that might be the 7-year old boy), I started thinking about relationships. All of the Hudson family drama seems to have stemed from the tumultuous relationship between Jennifer's sister Julia and her husband. Julia's myspace page (I've done my research, y'all) even has a picture of a car he supposedly sold against her will, her caption referring to how her brother (now deceased) had to pick her up from work because "bitch ass William sold my car". I know there is nothing comical about this situation, but it's funny how women never seem to see these kinds of men as an issue until it's too late. The stupid little controlling things he does are ok, but rarely do these women stop to think about how far his crazy antics might go, or who they might effect one day.

I've met women like this before, hell, I used to be one. Referring to their boyfriends as "crazy" as if the things he does authenticates his love for them. He must really love you to go out of his way to make sure you can't leave the house when he wants you to stay. He must REALLY love you to check up on you every 15 minutes of the day. And GIRL he must be SO IN LOVE with you because when you get mad and break up with him he goes bizirk until you take him back. This kind of behavior is not attractive to the typical woman, but it's attractive to some. An attraction that can lead to things like the Hudson double-homicide (possibly triple). Women make excuses for the men they date; women who don't pay closer attention to the warning signs. They like the attention, they like a man who makes a fool of himself for her. In my head, making a fool of yourself, entails sending a ridiculous display of roses to your job or asking you to dance to elevator music. NOT disrupting your life with a series of hissy fits. I never thought my ex, Louis' behavior would effect any one's life but mine until he showed up to my house with a metal baseball bat and threatened to kill a male friend who was at my house. Not only did he threaten, he tried and fortunately failed. That could have easily been a family member, or myself. That could have VERY easily have been a murder, or a double murder. I think about that night every time I hear some woman talk about how "crazy" her boyfriend is and how she stays anyway because, "that's just the way he is." Thinking a tragic escalation of violence can't happen to you just because you sleep in the same bed as this man is a very ignorant mistake to make. ANY man who doesn't respect you as a women, an individual and have enough sense to make your life NOTHING but better is a man who is missing a few screws and can very easily snap over to the other side.

I don't find stories like this amusing, and I don't find men like that to be innocent. Dating a scruffy guy who prefers to keep it "street" is fine, but dating an outright maniac just because he puts it down in the bedroom is foolish. Think about your life and the lives around you and ask yourself if you want to be responsible for your "crazy" man turning his anger on the people you love.

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Alicia aka "Fashiona" said...

The whole case is very sad and my prayers go out to her and her family. You are right though we do need to watch who we let into our heart and our beds.



It is sad & unfortunate and a lot of women ignore the signs, due to low self-esteem & a fear of being alone. However being alone, healthy, and safe is way better than what we have seen in the news...