Monday, June 23, 2008

A Toast To Women With Balls

It's rare to find anyone in this world who sees you for exactly who you are, and despite that; loves you unconditionally. I've found that for the majority these people are usually of blood-relation. But occasionally we meet people in this life, who don't have to, yet insist on loving us. Those people are rare gems, and blessings.

I'm still friends with 80% of the girls I knew back in school. Thanks to Myspace and Facebook, I get to stay in touch with them (even Heather, my 3rd-5th grade best friend who is now married and living in London). But the ones I consider to be sisters are few. And aside from being few, they're also quite ballsy. I'm convinced that if they weren't we'd have broken up years ago.

My best friend Theresa (the one in the middle in the first pic) is the most amazing best friend anyone could ever ask for. We met in Ms. Stall's science class back in 98 (9th grade). We ended up being lab partners one day and neither one of us could sit still. I don't remember what it is were supposed to be "learning" in class that day, but I do remember that we had verbally dubbed each other friends by the end of the period. A few weeks later, we were strutting down the hallway being our weird, silly selves repeating "Now you see you don't" making perfect sense only to ourselves when we came to a short chocolate-colored girl standing by the lockers. Theresa looked at her and repeated our mantra. Instead of looking puzzled the girl burst into laughter, "OH!! I get it! Now you see you don't!" She was virtually spilling with happiness. Her name was Nanika (second picture) and since then the three of us have been practically inseparable. Since high school we've encountered some pretty big tests of friendship. Like when Nanika dropped out of our "lets move in together" idea at the very last minute, after I'd already canceled the lease on my apartment. That was a bad two years for us. And when Theresa got pregnant with Tashawn, and was struggling with the idea of becoming a mother. I reminded her that she wasn't supposed to know everything just yet, and that in my opinion she'd be an amazing mother. I was right. I've never seen a more dedicated mom than Theresa. Or when Nanika got arrested and Theresa and I spent hours trying to find out where she was sent and how to get her out, since no one else seemed to know. After which we kidnapped her, took her to my house and had an intervention. She needed to make a change. After Louis and I broke up and I was left devastated by the aftermath of our relationship. My two besties packed their stuff and stayed with me for a few days to make me feel better. They took me out, fed me and reminded me how beautiful I really am. That was a tough time in my life altogether, and I couldn't have made it without those two. I also couldn't have made it without my other ballsy bi-otch...

Atya (Far right in the first pic). My hip, which we call each other because as kids we were attached at the hip and everyone teased us about it. We're cousins by marriage (although neither of us has ever figured out how) and have had the rockiest, most rebellious, heroic, drama-filled friendship in the history of black girls. It's hard to find words to describe Atya. When we were in high school we were always plotting on something. We would decide what kind of guys were good enough for us, while figuring out what clothes accentuate our curves the best, while trying to escape our mothers. We'd plot on how to make the money our mothers gave us stretch during our long weeks in Vallejo (which usually just meant not sharing- cinch!) We'd do the whole "I'm spending the night with Atya" "I'm spending the night with Ashley" excuse to dodge curfew and go on dates with older guys. We always maintained the idea that self development and evolution is an endless process. Even as teens we'd each have some paper posted on our walls reminding us to work on something. "Patience" it would say. And when Louis and I broke up conveniently within the same week Atya and her long time beau, Brandon called it quits we nursed each other through the rough times. Evey day after work I'd call her and see how she was. "Hungry" was the typical reply. "Well," I'd say. "You still have that chicken in your freezer, I just bought some green beans the other day...." No more words were needed. With her chicken, my green beans, the remaining ingredients which we'd commandeer from her parents house (under the guise of a friendly visit we'd each stick needed supplies into our jackets and purses), a movie from blockbuster and some weed from her little brother Antoine (my other favorite cousin) at the discounted price of course (3 for $15), we had our night set up. After a few months (yes, months) of this routine, long nights spent crying to each other, crazy set backs (like when Louis broke into my house and tried to kill me) we had each healed from the wounds of tattered love. TGI have Atya.

The friendships I have with these three chicks is far from perfect. We anger each other, ignore each other, hide and trample each other at times. But these women are far from weak. They've been through it, learned lessons and decided to keep pushing. They can take a joke and criticism in the same breath without taking offense. They can dish out what they can take which has always been A LOT. They are beautiful and strong and confident. And best of all they stand out in a crowd. I could probably complain about them as much as they could about me. But the fact of the matter is they are one of a kind. No one is more enthusiastic that Nanika. If you want a genuine reaction to good news, tell Nanika; she'll make you feel like a million bucks just for finding your keys. Theresa is the most understanding person in the world. I can tell her anything and she'll listen without waiting to speak, then get up and make you dinner. Atya will serve it to you straight, no chaser. It took us a decade to learn to ask, "Do you want my opinion" before speaking, because neither of us pull punches especially for each other. They are three of the most important out of a bunch of my crazy, ballsy girlfriends. They made me who I am, and will always keep me grounded. Nothing beats a friend that actually tells you when you look fat.


jonas said...

true friends are more precious than any material thing in this world. nice blog you have. keep up the good work ^^