Wednesday, June 4, 2008

The Tale of Two Cities

The sky is black and blue today, beaten to a pulp by the rain. Goodbye sunshine; hello ugly grayness. It's still a solid 75 degrees outside, which basically makes the subway hot and sticky, but no one seems to be bothered by it.
It's getting closer to that time. Time for me to shove off, short of some outrageously pressing reason to stay. New York has definitely won me over, but I (for shame) miss the slow life. The easy going way of "anywhere but here". Where people say "hello" and "your welcome" and call you "miss" and "ma'am", instead of "Hey scrumptious". Where you don't have to kick garbage with your open toed sandals walking on the sidewalk. Of course nothing is more beautiful than the New York skyline. Almost everything in this place looks like art. Even the run down streets of Bed Stuy have a way of smiling at you from cracked windows and graffiti-covered walls. There is always something to do, even when you have nothing to spend and no where in particular to go. Just walking through the park can take you all day. There is a stronger sense of community here as well. As individual as people are, they all seem to look out for one another. If you ever come here and get lost, just ask someone who looks like a local and you'll get subway directions and a recommendation for the best place to buy coffee.

I thought by now I'd be a mess. Hurried to figure out where I want to go and what to do. The OMG feeling running through my veins making me break into a cold sweat and reach for comforting carbs. But alas, your girl is quite calm. I'm probably going to end up moving to Atlanta, where there are warm familiar family faces. Where I can hang out with my favorite cousins; Shatis, Atya and Demetrius, and catch up with old friends I know there. Where my rent can be a wonderful cool $600 a month and I don't have to feel cheated, paying for a view I can't even see. Because the view in Atlanta is amazing. I'll probably move to Houston, where I can lay in the arms of my brave and beautiful man. Where we can put our past behind us and start over. Where forgiveness and warmth waits, and Sunday morning pancakes. I know for sure that either way I'll probably be very happy and content. They say if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere. Don't be confused by my quick exit after only 6 months. I proved to myself that I can survive the biggest culture shock of my life. I proved to myself that I can fit a size 6, as silly as that sounds. I proved to myself that I can figure out what I want to do with my life, and for anyone who knows me, it feels like the 2nd coming of Lord to finally realize that much. I proved to myself that I don't need anyone to get by, but I do prefer it. I proved my patience and determination, and if that's not "making it" then I don't know what is.