Monday, February 2, 2009

Goodbye Lover, Goodbye New York

D was cold. Freezing in fact as we stood at the bus stop waiting for the B46. It was Thursday, move day and count down to out flight out. We had a list of things to do; pick up the van, drop the boxes off at the Post Office, drop the bed and dresser at Etienne's and the rest at Salvation Army. In the moment of silence, I took a second to look around. Atlantic ave, where I got my first bunch of groceries with the room mate from hell. Brooklyn was looking a lot like it did when I first met her, cold, windy but deceivingly sunny. I secretly wished the day would drift by slowly, as D prayed for a heat-wave.

Saying goodbye to New York was like saying goodbye to a forbidden was quiet and very private. I took in the buildings and the streets and even the smells I used to despise. I even closed my eyes and breathed in the same winter winds that once stung my nostrils. It was like a friendly hug that I wished could last longer.

Friday, Tia and her boyfriend Anthony came out with D and I. We started our night at Black Betty's in Williamsburg, where I proudly stuck to my vegetarian resolution and ordered the shrimp and cous cous. As we all sat drinking and laughing I took mental pictures of the four of us, saying goodbyes and hellos and generally making memories I'd sit back and recall in days to come.

Later that night, something I never expected happened. Tia and I had a moment of sentimental indulgence. We cried and said the girly things girls say when they're sad to see a friend go. She told me the things I needed to hear, the things only a friend like Tia could say knowing that I needed to hear them. I'll be forever grateful to her for telling me what she did, and it sealed the friendship for me; she will always be in my life.

The next morning, D and I woke up and shuffled around trying to wrap up the things we'd left for the last moment. I kept reminding him that we were almost there. Almost to the post office (long story), almost to the airport, almost through security, almost set to board. I closed my eyes for a second before the plane took off, then I did what Tia said I should do. I left everything unresolved, everything lingering on the air strip just as gravity left us. I looked over at D, who was now fast asleep and leaning on my shoulder, and everything made sense.

I hate to be sentimental but the truth of it is, I'll miss the hell out of New York. The times we had, the amazing summer and the friendships that will never be duplicated. I know less and less thoughts of the city will enter my mind, and slowly I'll unmemorize the entire MTA subway map and forget the names of the streets that surround Carroll and Eastern Parkway. I also know I left at the right time.

They say if you can make it in New York, you can make it anywhere. I'm ready to test that theory out on the next phase in my life. Houston, home ownership, and being D's better half.

And I'll always have New York.



Congrats and good luck...New York will always have a place in your heart, and it will always be there...almost the way you left it...