Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Down With Money!

I hate to loose money. But I suppose that's as unique a statement as "I like to breathe". In my situation, however, I REALLY hate to loose money. I work hard 40 hours a week at a job that, although I like; isn't exactly challenging to my intellect. I take the dusty, crowded train and walk to and from work with aching feet. I rise early and skip breakfast pretty much every day so that on Wednesday or Friday I can receive my hard earned money. Then I take that money and chop it up, divide it and stretch it to accommodate bills, savings and my measly little humble lifestyle (i.e. a few drinks with the gals). When this hard earned money is squandered, I'd rather it be from my own doing. I'd rather it be because I work next door to Famous Footwear and the new Steve Maddens in the window have been CALLING MY NAME. I'd rather it be because I got too drunk and then announced; "Beers on me!" at Bingo. I'd even prefer it if I'd blacked out, went to the horse races, bet on a loosing horse and lost it all in one day. But when it's because someone else has done me wrong; that's when I start to get ridiculous.
At this point, I'm at Phase 1. Phase 1 means that I'm smiling and counting to ten. Finding out what legitimate ways I might be able to get my deposit back. Civil court? A politely written letter? This is my first defense. After that I skip Phase 2 and go to Phase 3; which may or may not consist of physical retaliation. Being as how there is legal action pending, I really can't say. But after Phase 1, it gets mighty ugly.

Money is a horrible thing. I wish it didn't exist. I wish we didn't require it to live and breathe. I wish those selfish sons of bitches who invented money thousands of years ago and did away with the peaceful method of trade and barter were hung by there dicks from the nearest tree. But, wishful thinking is empty. Here I am, and this is the situation at hand. My hard earned money is gone and I have to deal with that. All I can do now is learn from this experience. My advice; go ahead and be the asshole that insists everything be in writing!