Tired

The sun is out this morning. I'm tired, but the sun is out. My back hurts. I miss D. The economy sucks.

A Little Obsessed w/Polyvore This Week

Try it..

Shopping Is My Mosquito Bite

I wanna scratch it soooo bad. I'm so ready to dig my fingers into the new season and all the great finds that are swirling around in this big city. Between my mom visiting this weekend and a shopping trip planned with my friend Gwen all that's left is to start to think about what my wardrobe is missing.

I dream in color...

When Time Falls Back

I've always been ambiguous to the "in-between" seasons. The one's missing that extreme weather element that keeps me thriving and alive. No scorching heat, no blistering snow (or as a former California girl, I should say, "no heavy, relentless rain."), nothing to hate, nothing to run from. Fall and Spring are irritatingly uneventful seasons; yet ones I can't complain about.

On Saturday, Tia and I said goodbye to Summer by sitting in McCarren Park and peddled off our closet discards. Shoes, bags, books, etc. We started out selling our stuff at fair market value but by the time we were closing up (and after receiving a summons for drinking beer in public) we started unloading everything we had for a quarter each. What we had left over will be going promptly to exchange as soon as I find the ovaries to haul that huge suitcase full of crap down to North 11th (again).

The thing I can say about Fall, is that it brings the most interesting fashion possibilities. Your not required to walk around stark naked, baring every inch of skin within legal limits. No horrible binge/purge diet to maintain so that your love handles are less obvious in the tub top you insisted on buying despite not finding the size you actually wear (hypothetically, of course). No sticky, sour sweat beads running down your face taking with it what bit of make up you were able to apply before the humidity of your bedroom forced you to leave or pass out on the floor. And conversely, no horrid winter garb that makes you look like a wool-spun mummy waddling down the street with nothing but your eyes poking through a mess of scarf/earmuff/hat. No, Fall blesses us all with a bite of cold just cool enough for fedoras, wool skirts and calf-high leather boots; yet sun-kissed for our silk blouse, light blazer wearing delight. And I plan on taking full advantage.

Fall flatters my figure the best, and my diet. No sugar-glutted popsicles to get me through the night, and not much of a need for over-priced, grande-soy-no whip-extra hot-caramel-latte to get me through the morning. Just good old fashioned low calorie soup.

So while Fall doesn't ignite any extra passion nor foot-tapping blithe; it still leaves me all tingly inside. Why? Basically for the same reasons it annoys me; because theirs nothing to hate, nothing to run from. Just pure, breezy, fence-balancing, good ole fashioned, un-obvious weather. Yay.

People Who Know My Face...

It’s that special time of the year again, when people I love trickle into JFK and LaGuardia and stay in Brooklyn for a few days. This time around, however the tension of living with fuck-tards is out of the way, and my company and I can relax and enjoy the first few days of Fall in peace.

My mother will be first to arrive on Thursday. We don’t have anything solid planned other than to see a show and take in the sights of Manhattan. I don’t think she’s been to New York since she was around my age, maybe younger. I’ll be taking her to Dumbo (my personal favorite), the WTC, Time Square, Fifth Ave…and so on. I know her brand of motherly care is just what I need right now. I’m sure it’ll be a big huge, “Hi BABIEEEE!!” Followed by a light-hearted, “You BRAT.” for good measure. I can’t wait to see her wide smile and give her a big hug. I’m sure she’ll make me cut her hair, which of course (Mom if you’re reading this…) I’ll use as a bargaining tool to get a nice pair of something or other while we’re in the city. Hee hee..

Then come’s the future Mr. My Husband. After I realized that flying from New Orleans (which is about a 5 hour drive for D) to JFK is well under $200 I probed him to come see me. So he’ll be flying out on the 2nd and staying for the weekend. Wrapping my arms around him and keeping him locked in my bedroom for the entire time is about all the plans I have in mind as of yet. I haven’t seen him since August, and I probably won’t see him again until the holidays (Christmas probably). Honestly I plan on nothing more than sleeping in his arms, possibly seeing a movie, perhaps having one meal outside my apartment, but then retreating immediately back to my bedroom. I’m sure he’ll have no complaints.

After a long and drama-full summer, I’m looking forward to hanging out with two of the people who know me best. Between the motherly love and attention and the security of my man’s strong arms, riding out the rest of the year should be a breeze.

It’ll at least hold me until Obama wins the election.

Judith Smiles

There's a lady in my office named Judith. I don't know much about her other than that she is a writer, and tends to seem rather grumpy. Her voice is staggered, like a crumpled piece of paper. She usually stays at her desk concentrating on her computer screen. Most days, she and I don't say much to each other. I'll hear her chatting back and forth with our graphic designer complaining about something or other. The context is inaudible, but I know it's a complaint. The other day she expressed her annoyance with the printer in that "grandmother" kind of way. Banging it, referring to it as "this thing", placing it into a human category. Her glasses falling slightly further down her nose as she looses her composure for a moment. Still, adamantly lady like.

But today, for no particular reason, in passing me in the hallway, she smiled. Not that dismissing smile, that women tend to exchange between them like passive compliments. It was genuine and free formed. I smiled back without thinking. Her face was warm and softened. It was a smile seeping from her lips, eyes and cheeks equally, and if it had been waiting there all along.

For some reason, I found it to be noteworthy.

Catch of Day: Fatty Big Eye Fish

Yesterday was one of those weepy, slow days that seemed to drag on, despite being in good company. I went with my room mate Monica to the West Village to help her gather her art supplies for class and take them to her school to stash in her locker. Then we toted her work home, which was a 6 foot tall roll of papers covered in black plastic bags and masking tape; looking much like a dead body. We stopped at this awesome sushi place on Broadway which had so many scrumptious delights to offer that we gazed wide-eyed and intimidated at the chapter book menu despite the waiter coming by several times to ask if we were ready to order. When I remember the name if the place, I'll post an update, but for now lets just call it "Fatty Big Eye Fish" which was the name of their specialty. After lunch we went to strand and picked out a few books from the $1 shelves outside.

After sushi and dropping the "dead body" at home, we walked to our corner store and got needed essentials; ice cream, wine and cereal. We sat on our buildings shared porch and dug into the $1.99 Hagindaz knock-off and getting bit up by mosquitoes.

Now its quiet and bright outside, I'm doing laundry and my music can barely be heard over the sound of my roaring fan; which is why I'm also thinking about redeeming some Thank You points to get an iPod speaker set.

I have mosquito bites on my feet, but I hope the storm brings D to New York. Kisses I need.

Hurricane, yIKEs!!

I'm sure in comparison to Hurricane Katrina or 9/11 no doubt, my concerns about Hurricane Ike are a little premature and over exaggerated. But, I'm a woman in love and my entire future rest solidly in the hands of D, who is in Houston right now. He has been called to evacuate and plans to seek refuge in a hotel away from the path of the storm with two of his friends. Please think good thoughts for D, his friends and everyone else who may be effected by Hurricane Ike this weekend. Let's hope it goes by quickly and without too much damage.

Thanks, Lotus

UPDATE: He evacuated on time, and he is safe and sound in Louisiana with his family. However many people in Houston did not leave in time and sadly there may be as many as 140,000 people who were caught in the storm. Please keep your hearts and prayers with the victims.

Down With Money!

I hate to loose money. But I suppose that's as unique a statement as "I like to breathe". In my situation, however, I REALLY hate to loose money. I work hard 40 hours a week at a job that, although I like; isn't exactly challenging to my intellect. I take the dusty, crowded train and walk to and from work with aching feet. I rise early and skip breakfast pretty much every day so that on Wednesday or Friday I can receive my hard earned money. Then I take that money and chop it up, divide it and stretch it to accommodate bills, savings and my measly little humble lifestyle (i.e. a few drinks with the gals). When this hard earned money is squandered, I'd rather it be from my own doing. I'd rather it be because I work next door to Famous Footwear and the new Steve Maddens in the window have been CALLING MY NAME. I'd rather it be because I got too drunk and then announced; "Beers on me!" at Bingo. I'd even prefer it if I'd blacked out, went to the horse races, bet on a loosing horse and lost it all in one day. But when it's because someone else has done me wrong; that's when I start to get ridiculous.

At this point, I'm at Phase 1. Phase 1 means that I'm smiling and counting to ten. Finding out what legitimate ways I might be able to get my deposit back. Civil court? A politely written letter? This is my first defense. After that I skip Phase 2 and go to Phase 3; which may or may not consist of physical retaliation. Being as how there is legal action pending, I really can't say. But after Phase 1, it gets mighty ugly.

Money is a horrible thing. I wish it didn't exist. I wish we didn't require it to live and breathe. I wish those selfish sons of bitches who invented money thousands of years ago and did away with the peaceful method of trade and barter were hung by there dicks from the nearest tree. But, wishful thinking is empty. Here I am, and this is the situation at hand. My hard earned money is gone and I have to deal with that. All I can do now is learn from this experience. My advice; go ahead and be the asshole that insists everything be in writing!

Sad Little Fact

I just realized that it's actually been a while since I've said "hella".

How I miss home.

New Celebrity Couple: McPalin!!

There's a new celebrity couple in the house, and lets all pray it's not the White House. The newest revelations from the Republican party Vice President choice astounded all of us, I'm sure. Especially when we are faced with the ice-cold reality that Palin could stand to take over the Oval Office if McCain's old, rickety, 72-year old ass dies during his run. Of course, he says he knew all along that she was the brand new mother of a 5-month old baby with down syndrome, the grandmother of an unborn, illegitimate child to her under AGE daughter, wife to a man formally charged with a DUI and let's not forget the fact that she is strongly and verbally pro-life.

Perhaps that was McCain's intention. Maybe his campaign's comments about Obama being the "biggest celebrity in the world" have back fired so much so that he feels the need to compete. Instead of presenting a better policy and approachable front (like Obama) he, instead is going for the trashy tabloid ploy. There is no arguing; he's definitely grabbing headlines.

Personally, I'm scared shitless that this Palin person could actually be in office. Even with Obama's tremendous Messiah-like following, we all remember the shock and amazement that befell the last election when Bush was once again elected for another 4 years. Although that, we all know, was a unfavorably fixed race no doubt. Imagine a world where Obama goes back to being a senator, Michelle goes back to UCH medical and America is once again ran by the usually unsuccessful republican party. Free and low cost clinics will no doubt go under without the financial backing they so desperately need, and I'm sure Palin will be pleased as more and more young girls become young mothers due to the lack of sexual education and health care options. I'm sure she'll prance around and continue claiming to be a feminist (a former beauty pageant contestant and winner....who is claiming to be a feminist...give me a break). The war will continue and escalate into WWIII to every one's anticipation. McCain has less than a decade and a half left on this planet according to life expectancy statistics, so what does he care about America's future? Between his old age politics and Palin's ignoramus belief that the breakdown in our ecosystem has nothing to do with human actions, we'll all be living in an over populated, war torn country toting gas-masks to work every day. And lets not forget Palin's poor little 5-month old baby who will surely go without it's mother, because she doesn't find it necessary to actually raise her children...which would explain why her daughter is knocked up before finishing high school.

Is this what we've come to? This is the possible future of our country? An elderly, white haired man and a neglectful mother of 5, who doesn't even think rape victims deserve the right to have an abortion. Critics can pick Obama apart all day long. From his lack of experience to his soft approach towards the war; but he still comes out smelling like a rose. A devoted family man, and loving husband and a citizen of the United States who like everyone else just wants to see a change. Someone who can implement it, and at least presents the idea of thinking differently. The comparison is like night and day and far beyond black and white. Even if you never have, and have never wanted to. Even if you don't believe in it, or don't have the time. VOTE, and vote wisely.