Cake & Eat it Too

One of the best things about being a writer, and loving to do it is the ability to create stories. In my mind, I have always been able to conjure up even the most insane scenarios. My imagination has always been bright and vivid, so when I write fiction...it's pretty realistic.

Before me and D got back together, and I was shaking in my boots over the idea of loosing him for good. Just when the idea of being together was mulling around in our mouths again and we teetered on the edge of a cliff, I was about to break from the pressure. Sure, I was confident that D loved me, and that no one could touch that love. I knew he wanted to be together as much as I did, but what remained was the MOUNDS of effort and work we'd both have to put forth to make our relationship get off the ground again. Some men don't like to work that hard for love, some women don't either. So at the time, I didn't know if he thought it was worth it. I had to do something to settle my soul.

So, I grabbed my handy-dandy notebook and started imagining the conversation. Every word, every answer, every possible reaction. Right up until the final solution. Then I created two scenarios. One was D and I getting back together, moving into a beautiful house one day in Houston and getting married...having babies...being happy. The other was letting our love fall by the way side and staying apart. I imagined that I would move on...meet some artist as insane as I am...fall in love and get some ass-backwards shabby chic apartment in the Village. I read both scenarios over and over. Aside from being totally impressed with my writing skills and tearing up from the reality of it, I began to be OK. OK with the idea of having D, and OK with the idea of loosing him.

I settled in my mind that no matter what, no one would ever make or break me, not even those closest to me.

A month later we got back together, and scenario #1 was well on it's way into realization. Vivid as a picture.

No Longer A Fan of Lipstick

I was practically in tears when I found out that NBC was going to cancel one of my favorite guilty pleasures...Lipstick Jungle. Another creation of Sex and the City's Candace Bushnell was seemingly similar until I took a closer look one bored Sunday afternoon. I watched the entire first season on Hulu and then waited in anticipation as the second finally began. No sooner was I sunken into it's story line and complicated yet stylish drama when I heard the tragic news....

Well, it's been a while since I took in an episode, the holidays had me running ragged. Finally I took a second to watch episode 12, which is supposed to bring closure to a lot of hanging issues. Will Joe and Victory get married? Is there something between Niko and Griffin? And will Wendy and her husband break up over Shayne's scattered rock star dreams...??
WILL THEY??!!

WHO CARES!!! I was too focused on Brooke Shields GOD AWFUL Botox.... eeeshh!
Why do women do this to themselves?

PS: The worst news is, it's actually NOT canceled...just when I've decided to boycott.

Under-Cooked Boyfriends

There comes a time in every woman's life when she is forced to come to terms with the fact that her man is totally under cooked. Like a raw egg... or my favorite comparison; a zygote. A newly fertilized egg in the stages before human development.

If you are dating a zygote...please stop and put him back in the oven.

How To Survive Women

Being that I'm headed toward eternal partnership, and the fact that I am mildly compulsive in most capacities; I've been doing my reading on domestication. Everything from how to keep pet hair from becoming a problem to how to keep the spice in your relationship. However, it wasn't until today while clicking through Yahoo's latest relationship advice article and the realities of marriage, when I noticed something. Why are ALL the relationship advice geared toward how WOMEN can learn to deal or take care of their MEN??

I mean, yes, we are usually the ones who constantly check for and tug off the proverbial lint balls of our relationship. Tending and maintaining is in our very genetics. But lost we are not. Women have had the knowledge pounded into their heads for centuries that "you can't change a man" and to "stand by your man" and "if you don't give it to him, someone else will..." But where is that manual that teaches men how to get from day 1 to day 7 of their woman's cycle without suffering a severe eye injury? And how to REMEMBER those tedious things that they always seem to forget that mean so much to us (like anniversaries and special songs). Or how to let go of their fear of floral patterns and muted tones and let their woman decorate as she sees fit? These too are aspects of the male/female relationship that can either maintain the serenity of the household peace or drudge up an argument that usually lands the man in the guestroom/couch/doghouse.

I think there are a million and one things women have to get used to when living with a man; like toilet splatter, and 7 pairs of Nike Dunks left in the hallway. But there are also like a bizillion more things a man has to get used to when dealing with a woman, and the number only climbs from the point of child baring.

So my very plea...someone...someone with a really awesome publisher and book deal already lined up...please write a book (or several) addressed to men about how to keep US happy. Because in case no one has noticed...our guys could use the assistance.

New Year's Resolution 2009

Well it's about that time of year again, and I can't help but feel a bit nostalgic. I know people say making resolutions is pointless and that they are made to be broken, but I don't believe it. Any time that brings a fresh start is a good time to make it a turning point in your life. So in light of this fact, I am making my resolutions for 2009:

1. Only use my credit cards when it's an absolute emergency, or if I know for sure I can pay it off before the bill comes.


2. No repeat arguments with D- if it's worth it to bring up, it's worth it to talk (or battle) it out until it's totally squashed.


3. No more pork- I tell myself that bacon is not pork...this needs to stop.


4. Donate to at least 3 charitable causes.


5. Maintain at least a 3.5 GPA.


6. Pay off whatever is lurking...(creepy)


7. Jog regularly (a few times a week)


8. Start an aerobics or yoga class


9. Find a couple for me and D to be friends with


10. Start a book club


11. Take a vacation

So I don't think these are too hard to grasp or achieve, and frankly their already things I have started to do. Tomorrow I'll be eating a lot of bacon...right up to 11:59...

Bird's Eye View

I heard an old friend of mine passed away suddenly yesterday. Again I was reminded of how frustratingly precious life is. How nothing is really ever promised. I was sitting on my flight home through the turbulence wondering if my plane would drop out of the sky on Sunday night; my palms getting clammy as they gripped my trey table. For a second I convinced myself that if and when it was my time to go I would calmly accept it. So yesterday I wondered if Destiny accepted it, if she even had time to and if she ever imagined she'd be leaving this world at 30. I've lost quite a few people in the past year, and every time I tend to wonder if I'll leave this world the same why I came into it...kicking and screaming.

So, to Destiny Castro, who had a contagious chuckle and the most gorgeous hair ever, rest in peace. My thoughts and prayers are with her family and her two babies.

The Worst Thing About Today....

...It's not that the wind is blowing freezing air in through the cracks of my window, which sits next to my bed. It's not that the shirt I found at Forever 21 doesn't quite fit, reminding me that I have in fact put on some holiday weight (I used to be a nice even medium...sometimes small). It's not even the bill I got in the mail today from my school, with $730.00 glaring back at me like some kind of cruel ironic joke. It's that today, nearly 48 hours from my glorious fun filled week with family and D, I am so far beyond pissed at his ungrateful ass that I hardly want to get on a plane to go see him anymore.

Of all the things that man can do, frustrating me is above all the thing in which he is most skilled.

YAY SNOW!!

...And So It Begins

Almost a month away is the official inauguration of President-Elect Obama, and my very own people are already nit-picking at him about his choice of invocation speaker, Rick Warren. Rick Warren is a pastor who although quite the liberal in other areas, is sternly opposed to same-sex marriage. Being that he is a religious man (to say the least) OF COURSE he's opposed to it...hello?

By "my people" of course I don't mean, the LGBT community, although some of my favorite people in the world are of that community...I mean Californians. Yes, we suffered a blow to our human rights, when among the excitement of our first Black President elect, the unsightly Proposition 8 (or "Prop H8 as it's widely referred) was passed which supported the ban on all same-sex marriages in the state. However, we all voted for a man, Obama, who not once denied his feelings regarding same-sex marriages. Politically he has supported same-sex couples and their fight for equal marital rights, however he has said several times that personally he is opposed to the idea.

So whats wrong with that? He is a public figure but also just a man. A man with opinions, thoughts and ideals that might not always revolve around what America wants as a majority (or a minority). I'm sure he supports the non-smoking laws, although he is a 20 year pack-a-day smoker. These are things we must accept when we elect a human being into office. He'll do human shit.

Aside from that point, the inauguration is not just for the American people, it's for the Obamas. It's like a person's wedding day, in that it should reflect who you are. I am a strong supporter of equal human rights, and I voted against Prop H8, but that doesn't mean I oppose people with opposite views. This is America, and we can't be upset just because someone doesn't have the same personal beliefs as we do. As long as Obama politically supports LGBT marital rights and does not oppose it, that's good enough for me. It's California we should be upset with, not our gleaming Prez Obama.

Just my opinion.

♥

Referenced Article: http://news.yahoo.com/s/politico/20081217/pl_politico/16693

4 More Days!!!!

In 4 days I'll be surrounded again by those I love the most!

♥