Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Randomness: Harsher Punishment for Over Eating...

I was chatting with my big sister tonight and as usual our two hour conversation which started out profound, ended in silliness, uncontrollable giggling and extreme immaturity. We covered everything from the DEEP and WONDROUS concepts of spirituality and the existence of God to what to say when people sneeze... Love my sis.

So basically this is what should come to pass...

There is all this buzz in the world, mainly America, about how huge everyone is. The kids are ballooning up worse than Violet in the Willy Wonka movie, and everyone blames McDonald's for their slow but steady demise. Well, with all that is being invented everyday....with the millions of hoards of people who sit around and think of new UNNECESSARY but addictive applications to download onto your Blackberry or iPhone...there should at least be a final and absolute solution to the problem of obesity. But there isn't.

Obesity is the leading killer of Americans. This tiny little concept of feeding yourself has become deadly, all because most people ignore that voice inside their heads that's screaming, "Put down the fork!" Screaming with vigor and desperation....

If only that voice were not so subtle...if only that voice instead were a harsh physical push...like falling from grace after sipping on too many cocktails, as everything listlessly fades to black.

My sister and I discussed the concept of a harsher consequence to over eating. Like if you were out to eat with your friends; people you have no shame in front of and can eat to your fill instead of delicately pushing your food around while trying to keep your lip gloss in tact. Say you ordered baked ziti and a big slice of tirimisu. However instead of that casual thought that creeps into your mind between sips of wine and table banter that tells you to push the plate away...you slowly start to loose consciousness. Things get blurry, hot and you suddenly feel like your swaying from side to side. So you ask, "Am I swaying from side to side?" and your friends look at you with squinted eyes...

"No.." they say. Still, everything goes blurry.

I mean why should this "feeling" of fullness be a feeling...why not have an immediate consequence like suddenly passing out and waking up days later..with your family standing over you, hands clasped, biting their lips as you finally blink your eyes and come to.

"You've been out for three days...you should have put down the baked ziti..." they say.

I imagine that if this were the consequence to over eating instead of just a painfully full stomach or a case of the "Itis"...people would be less inclined to Super Size their fries or order 2000 calorie meals. People would think twice about what they eat, the same way most people think twice about what they drink on a Wednesday night...."I should stop now, I have work in the morning..."

Everything is simplified these days....I can easily transfer funds, update my Twitter status, email my mother and call in sick to work all with a few clicks of my phone...but when it comes to people watching what they eat..oh that's a big guessing game. A huge struggle.

This randomness has been brought to you by the large glass of Cranberry vodka I've been sipping (I have work in the morning...) and the silliness introduced by a very long phone call with my big sis.

Thanks for "listening"....

2 comments:

Big Sissy said...

That was fan-shmab-u-lous!! I loved the unveiling of our thought-process!
I can imagine Mom and you staring down at me whilst clicking your tongues exclaiming "you really shouldn't have had that second helping..."
hahahahahahaha!

Lotus said...

Lol!! You'd have like a nacho cheese mustache and taco crumbs all over your self...lmao.