Excuse Me While My Brain Explodes...

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I'm in California this week and next...or last week and this? Shit, I don't know. All I know is I got a phone call on Saturday (last) that my grandmother had suffered a heart attack and two hours later D was driving me to the airport. I didn't even know what I'd packed (me- the person who literally packs for every occasion when traveling, including a run in with royalty). I flew home and immediately the roller coaster began. Lets not forget I hadn't seen the ex (Valentine) in about a month and things between us were pretty strained. THATS a whole other story. Now I'm hanging to a few minutes to blog, because it keeps me slightly sane. I'm also trying to freelance, juggle family, and find time to cry over the fact that I'm loosing my grandmother.

My brain is mush right now. I don't even think I've showered in 48 hours. This is a fact I would normally keep to myself, but right now myself is drowning in letters and numbers and notes and people and things. I've never craved my own bed more than I do right now, even though its sitting in Houston. My refuge is where? The ironic thing, I realized today as I sat outside in my mom's car crying into a venti iced soy mocha....is that the person I'd usually call to cry to....is grandma.

(©2009 Lotus B.)